Friday, September 4, 2009

How Far is Too Far??

I was definitely inspired by Miss Poodle's Post for this blog entry. It's something Mr. Mojito and I have struggled with for off and on since we first started discussing spending our lives together.

I have had a fantastic life with no complaints. I have a fabulous family that I'm very close to and tons of life long friends. Mr. Mojito on the other hand is very close with his family as well but just has a different feeling then I do...

He has no connection to Southern California. He lived in the same home his entire life except the four years he was living in Malibu for college. This place for whatever reason doesn't do it for him anymore - he hates the traffic, hates the crowds, he's just over it. I hate those things too for the most part, but I do love it here. Where else can I be within 30 miles to a mountain, beach, and Disneyland!

I told him I would be willing to move, he was set on moving to a great town in Arizona with our friends who moved there last summer... he loved it there (as did I)... until he went to visit this past June. He complained the ENTIRE weekend about the 115 degree heat and the first thing I asked on the drive home was "Do you still want to move here?" He followed that question with a quick and non hesitant, "NO!"

Arizona was out and the reason I seemed okay with Arizona was it's still not far, but even that six hour drive seemed so far from my family and friends. I just didn't know if I could handle it. What about once we have kids? I want them to be part of our childrens lives just like I want Mr. Mojitos parents to be a part of our children's lives as well.

We go through this struggle so much. Part of me just wants to find a home he loves living in and finds a job he absolutely loves that he just doesn't think about leaving anymore. But he still brings it up constantly, "Oh how about we move there?" and I'm just like "What?! You've never even been there!" He thinks we can just pick up everything and go anywhere and leave if we don't like it. He clearly doesn't see the whole struggle involved.

But I won't back down from a smart decision, I will make sure it's a place that we are both happy with and a place we've at least visited a time or two.

Oh yeah, and Texas is now out too - also too hot and humid. If I could chose it would be one of the beach towns in the central coast. I adore it there!

Have you and your fiance had any disagreements on where you would live and raise your family?

1 comment:

Layla said...

Yes!!! I feel very much like your FI and my FI feels like you do... so we're kind of at odds. I've moved around a lot and he's lived in the same state his whole life, which is not my home state. But I also agree with you on the kids thing - his mother LIVES for us having grandkids and I know she will be a great grandmother - could I really do that to her, to them? Aaaaagh! It's all so hard! Relieved to see that someone else knows how it feels.